Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Fav Foto Friday
Here is Orange with two of her friends a year ago this week....
And here they are today...think someone grew a little?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Fav Foto Friday and Sleep
Oh yes, the sleep issues have returned here in our sweet little home. It isn't like it was when Orange first came him...meaning she would throw fits, pee her bed on purpose to make me have to change her sheets, stand in the hall and stare at me etc...the only reason it isn't is because she has language and a sister to sleep with now!! The girls have been sleeping together pretty much every night now for a few months. It started out as an every once in a while thing but became a nightly routine quickly. Orange had a trundle bed and then when I got Lemon a big girl bed, I got her one too (love craigslist). Well, our thing was to switch off each week whose room they slept in..this way no one had to sleep on the trundle the entire time and each child got to sleep in her own bed at times too.
Our sleep issues slowly returned. One week I'd find Orange in Lemon's bed but poor Lemon would be pushed to the outside and falling off....or poor Lemon would be on the foot of the bed but in the same bed...or poor Lemon would be smooshed against the wall. Are you getting the picture:-) Orange is not an easy person to sleep with (hence the lack of co-sleeping in our world). She is on top of you, across you, pushes you off the bed etc. etc.
The next week I'd get that Orange didn't want to sleep in Lemon's room because her bed was by the door. So...I moved the room around to make her happy. Then the next week she didn't want to sleep in Lemon's room because it was now by the window. Then she didn't want to sleep in her own room unless Lemon was in the same bed with her..which didn't end well.
So, we discussed all of these things, it got to the point where she finally told me that she was scared of the animals outside of the window, she wanted to know if there were hyenas in America. We talked about what animals there are...all the cute bunnies and birdies that are outside. I showed her the locked windows, we talked about our alarm and our dog who would bark. We talked about how she was safe. It didn't help. We were back to the light on each night too. So...I finally got her to understand that we needed to work together to come up with a solution. She said the solution would be if she and Lemon could sleep in the same bed and she could sleep against the wall.
Well....we fixed it!! Grammy and Papa had a twin over full bunk bed at their house. We swapped Lemon's bed for that and voila...my child is happy! Lemon could care less where she sleeps as long as she sleeps and as long as her sissy is happy. Orange is now thrilled and we are sleeping much better. Oh wait, except for last night when Orange woke Lemon up to play barbies with her at 3 am. Poor Lemon can't tell time and when her sissy tells her it is good morning (that is what it is called in our house) time, she believes her. Won't happen again...OY!
What it is like sleeping with Orange
Our sleep issues slowly returned. One week I'd find Orange in Lemon's bed but poor Lemon would be pushed to the outside and falling off....or poor Lemon would be on the foot of the bed but in the same bed...or poor Lemon would be smooshed against the wall. Are you getting the picture:-) Orange is not an easy person to sleep with (hence the lack of co-sleeping in our world). She is on top of you, across you, pushes you off the bed etc. etc.
The next week I'd get that Orange didn't want to sleep in Lemon's room because her bed was by the door. So...I moved the room around to make her happy. Then the next week she didn't want to sleep in Lemon's room because it was now by the window. Then she didn't want to sleep in her own room unless Lemon was in the same bed with her..which didn't end well.
So, we discussed all of these things, it got to the point where she finally told me that she was scared of the animals outside of the window, she wanted to know if there were hyenas in America. We talked about what animals there are...all the cute bunnies and birdies that are outside. I showed her the locked windows, we talked about our alarm and our dog who would bark. We talked about how she was safe. It didn't help. We were back to the light on each night too. So...I finally got her to understand that we needed to work together to come up with a solution. She said the solution would be if she and Lemon could sleep in the same bed and she could sleep against the wall.
Well....we fixed it!! Grammy and Papa had a twin over full bunk bed at their house. We swapped Lemon's bed for that and voila...my child is happy! Lemon could care less where she sleeps as long as she sleeps and as long as her sissy is happy. Orange is now thrilled and we are sleeping much better. Oh wait, except for last night when Orange woke Lemon up to play barbies with her at 3 am. Poor Lemon can't tell time and when her sissy tells her it is good morning (that is what it is called in our house) time, she believes her. Won't happen again...OY!
What it is like sleeping with Orange
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| We hope this is the solution that makes everyone happy! |
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Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Working Through the Grief....
Orange's obvious grief episodes didn't come until she had been here about 6 months or so. Looking back, a lot of her behaviors from early on were probably signs of grief as well but I didn't make the connection. Not sure if I didn't want to or if I just didn't. I think early on, it was easier to just chalk it up to her testing or being a pain in the rear. I also think in the early days, I was so overwhelmed and just didn't have the compassion I needed to have to really see this.
I am not going to lie, there are times now when she is acting out that I still have a hard time finding it... but the important thing now is that it is there. I may not be the perfect Mom during these times but I am doing much better!!
The month of March was a tough one for us. Orange had grief episodes frequently. I think a lot of it was the talk of our year anniversary as a family. I think some of it is that she is finally piecing together her life and her story. These episodes were coming most often when she was getting in trouble for something. It would turn from tears of anger to tears of sadness. I really was at a loss on how to handle things. Poor Lemon was confused too and started to have her own episodes. It was a mess!!
So, I found us a grief counselor!! I am so happy I did this. We have gone now just 3 times but I can already see such a difference in how she is dealing with her grief. She is talking more about how she is feeling, she has several new tools to help her when she is sad and she really enjoys going to these sessions. This week she learned that "it is ok to be mad but not bad". She really likes this and so do I. Her second session, she made a grief bag that has different things in it to help her when she is having a hard time. There are even little note cards in her bag that say things like "I need a hug" or "I need some time with my Mom". She can pull one of these out when she needs to tell me this and is having a hard time expressing it. This past week, she did have a night where it got rough. One of the suggestions that her counselor gave us was to write a letter to her family when she feels so bad that nothing else is helping. So we did this together. She was pretty proud of herself and now wants Lemon to write her Mom a letter too. I think it helped give her some control over her feelings.
The thing I've really noticed lately is that she is trying to understand her world, her story...what it all means. I can tell she is struggling. She talked to her counselor about going to visit Ethiopia. She asks all of the time but she told her that she only wants to go for 2 weeks and then wants to come back to America. She was scared to tell me this. She has also been telling some stories about her life in Ethiopia that she has never told. Some don't make sense timeline wise but I think some of it is her trying to make memories of things that she has lost. It is hard to watch her struggle. I am just so thankful that we have found someone who is going to help us through this. I think she is thankful too.
I am not going to lie, there are times now when she is acting out that I still have a hard time finding it... but the important thing now is that it is there. I may not be the perfect Mom during these times but I am doing much better!!
The month of March was a tough one for us. Orange had grief episodes frequently. I think a lot of it was the talk of our year anniversary as a family. I think some of it is that she is finally piecing together her life and her story. These episodes were coming most often when she was getting in trouble for something. It would turn from tears of anger to tears of sadness. I really was at a loss on how to handle things. Poor Lemon was confused too and started to have her own episodes. It was a mess!!
So, I found us a grief counselor!! I am so happy I did this. We have gone now just 3 times but I can already see such a difference in how she is dealing with her grief. She is talking more about how she is feeling, she has several new tools to help her when she is sad and she really enjoys going to these sessions. This week she learned that "it is ok to be mad but not bad". She really likes this and so do I. Her second session, she made a grief bag that has different things in it to help her when she is having a hard time. There are even little note cards in her bag that say things like "I need a hug" or "I need some time with my Mom". She can pull one of these out when she needs to tell me this and is having a hard time expressing it. This past week, she did have a night where it got rough. One of the suggestions that her counselor gave us was to write a letter to her family when she feels so bad that nothing else is helping. So we did this together. She was pretty proud of herself and now wants Lemon to write her Mom a letter too. I think it helped give her some control over her feelings.
The thing I've really noticed lately is that she is trying to understand her world, her story...what it all means. I can tell she is struggling. She talked to her counselor about going to visit Ethiopia. She asks all of the time but she told her that she only wants to go for 2 weeks and then wants to come back to America. She was scared to tell me this. She has also been telling some stories about her life in Ethiopia that she has never told. Some don't make sense timeline wise but I think some of it is her trying to make memories of things that she has lost. It is hard to watch her struggle. I am just so thankful that we have found someone who is going to help us through this. I think she is thankful too.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
5 Years Without Shoes
I have been thinking about this day for a few weeks. I've seen the ads, the posts, the invites on facebook etc. I have a pair of TOMS, I support them and I in the past would have gone without shoes today if I could. This year though, my thougths on this day are SO different. I will tell you why of course!
My little girl who is now 6.5 years old didn't have a pair of shoes until she came to the orphanage in Addis Ababa. She was 5 years old at the time. Yes, she went 5 years without shoes. Her little feet tell that story. She has scars all over the bottom of them and she has 3 nailbeds that are scarred over. She will never have toenails on those toes. We have talked about this since she came home. She would say things to me such as "no nails" when we were painting our nails...or "I have to be careful". Now she just talks about it in a way that is a matter of fact. Just this last week though, she showed me one specific scar on her foot and asked why it won't go away. We talked about this and about why she has it and what it means. It is a part of her story.
Earlier this year Orange wanted to send all of her old shoes back to Ethiopia. We did this (thanks to a dear friend who was traveling, they made their way to her orphanage). She was so happy about this!
On this day in our house, we celebrate the fact that she has shoes to protect her sweet little feet...and we talk about her family and her friends who still don't have shoes...how we can help them when we go back to visit. I have also promised that we will do our best to always send her old shoes to Ethiopia.
I think today, we may just have to paint our toe nails and go buy some sandals to celebrate her sweet feet.
Please...give back somehow if you can, buy some TOMS, donate to some organization that helps provide shoes to children and adults...do something...for all of those people and for my baby!!
My little girl who is now 6.5 years old didn't have a pair of shoes until she came to the orphanage in Addis Ababa. She was 5 years old at the time. Yes, she went 5 years without shoes. Her little feet tell that story. She has scars all over the bottom of them and she has 3 nailbeds that are scarred over. She will never have toenails on those toes. We have talked about this since she came home. She would say things to me such as "no nails" when we were painting our nails...or "I have to be careful". Now she just talks about it in a way that is a matter of fact. Just this last week though, she showed me one specific scar on her foot and asked why it won't go away. We talked about this and about why she has it and what it means. It is a part of her story.
Earlier this year Orange wanted to send all of her old shoes back to Ethiopia. We did this (thanks to a dear friend who was traveling, they made their way to her orphanage). She was so happy about this!
On this day in our house, we celebrate the fact that she has shoes to protect her sweet little feet...and we talk about her family and her friends who still don't have shoes...how we can help them when we go back to visit. I have also promised that we will do our best to always send her old shoes to Ethiopia.
I think today, we may just have to paint our toe nails and go buy some sandals to celebrate her sweet feet.
Please...give back somehow if you can, buy some TOMS, donate to some organization that helps provide shoes to children and adults...do something...for all of those people and for my baby!!
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